Outrageous really that the threshold for filing a complaint when you are plainly being psychologically harassed at work is so ridiculously high. In a country like the Netherlands.
Still, my theory remains that the more people who file a complaint, the more indispensable improvements will become. It is exactly the fact that way too few people dare to file a complaint that gives the other side the leeway to continue escalating its destructive behaviour. And generally gets away with the completely disproportional violence that is being fired at you when you do file a complaint. It is of a surreal calibre! Kafkaesque is a euphemism (honestly, Josef K. was a lucky bastard).
Yet you have to act because otherwise nothing will ever improve.
If you do dare to take that step, here are some do’s and don’ts that will help you and will give you more self-confidence. Because daring also means going through with it! And it’s a long road, with only opposition.
First of all be aware in the case of internal handling of your complaint. The independence, and thus the impartiality, are not “waterproof”. Try to see a negative outcome in that perspective. Try not to take it (too) personal. It is not about you. It is about protecting the reputation of the system and its leaders.
If you don’t reconcile to a negative outcome and/or are forced to take legal steps : Keep in mind that for them : the path embarked upon may NOT, at any cost, be abandoned! They have done nothing, nothing wrong! Even admitting a fraction of a mistake or wrong judgement is excluded! Everything is laid at your door. This would thus mean that there is no problem at all and you apparently filed a complaint for no reason whatsoever… That is madness of course! What on earth would someone try to achieve by doing just that?! Exactly the fact that everything is denied makes it totally unrealistic. Keep that in mind.
They just do not embark on any fact-finding. Just no investigation. No matter how convincing and in however many digestible chunks you present your case to them. Just no research. Also for this reason you may seriously question the veracity.
But be prepared for completely crushing documents and blows below the belt. Often by a different, “juridical”, department/section or even external “experts”. People who don’t even know you. Who have no idea whatsoever of all that has happened. Yet are capable of writing pages and pages about everything that you did wrong. Extraordinary! The advantage is that this can also help you to not take it (too) personal. Big disadvantage, however, is that someone that remote can lash out to his or her heart. And heartless.
This then brings us to the next lead: don’t let yourself be provoked. Don’t stoop to their level. That is the game really : bait, elicit culpable behaviour. Don’t defend yourself (too much). Everything will be used against you. Given that there is no fact-finding and it thus concerns unsubstantial reproaches makes defending yourself practically impossible. The fact that the path embarked upon may not be abandoned and no mistake, even the tiniest, may be admitted, makes defence basically a non-starter. Everything you bring in is brushed aside. Without batting an eyelid. Including evidence. In black and white. However much… They have the power…
That it’s no picnic may be evident. And not unlikely without any just outcome. But that is the external process. The real process is your own (personal growth) process. Because you will rise stronger by standing up for yourself, backing yourself and your values.
With these leads you may be able to put everything more in perspective, making it less personal. And with more insight into the strategies and tactics, you can react more efficient with a little more distance.
And then hope! Hope hope hope (!!!) That, in your case, there is at least one person who actually understands Workplace Bullying! Who is good judge of what is really going on! And has the courage and the sense of justice to actually proceed to fact- and truth-finding!!
Maartje Rutten, The Hague, March 31, 2019