The Individual
As written before, it unfortunately constitutes an almost insuperable threshold to be open about the fact that you are being bullied at work, to stand up for yourself and protect yourself. Having to admit, as an adult, that you are being bullied requires exposing yourself to far more vulnerability than appears to be bearable for most people. Therefore they sadly chose ever more damage to themselves and their health by trying to endure it or “be above it”.
The same holds true for asking for help. That is also seen as “weak”. And, again, one choses one’s own destruction over putting an end to the devastating situation and making yourself stronger.
From the other side it is at least as hard and frustrating to watch so many people letting themselves be treated appallingly at work. Even more so when you can, intensely, imagine the panic, the powerlessness, the humiliation and the self-doubt (and lived through it). Even more still when you know that there is a way of getting through it and over it! A proven successful way which will ultimately (after long and very hard work) make you stronger and healthier than ever, finding and following your bliss.
Because security and protection are lacking in your situation, it is very scary and highly sensitive to find the right help that will make you feel safe. But keep in mind the damage that you are causing yourself, your health and your environment by pretending to be capable of handling it. You can at least try it. You have nothing to lose.
Put an end to that destructive downward spiral! Put yourself first : Stand up for yourself!
Send a message for a free and non-committal appointment and find out how safe and well understood you may feel! React via : info@indigoadvice.eu.
The Organisation
As regards companies and organisations, “tackling” Workplace Bullying remains restricted to internal solutions. By definition this cannot be safe because it is not independent and thus cannot be objective. In practice these initiatives are seen to be failing. The nature of the problems goes far, far deeper than providing contact points where you can talk about your woes, however relieving that may be. It concerns far more fundamental conventions and behaviour of everyone involved. But also the organisation itself. It is the product of its founders and the collective heritage of every person that has worked there. An organisation subsequently drawing employees that are attracted by those values and conventions. It is only logical that it requires an almost superhuman effort to make changes.
This is also very difficult to observe. Because no one of all parties involved is happy with the situation. Clearly the bullying victim is not. But neither are the bullies. There is a lot of insecurity, unhappiness and anxiety that is being projected onto others. Managers are not happy with their own incompetence to lead effectively, troublesome team relations and a stressful atmosphere. The organisation in turn suffers from suboptimal output and increasing costs of sick leave. Whatever is tried internally will never bring real and lasting improvement unless the actual underlying causes are tackled. Otherwise it is even more money lost.
Only an outsider can have an objective, unbiased look at the situation, relations and the underlying dynamics. Only an outsider can offer the indispensable security for all parties by being independent and lacking any prior knowledge. A ((very) seasoned) expert by experience will be capable of sensing the dynamics and what is really going on.
Of course it is difficult in this case as well to determine what external help will deliver actual results. But also here the problems are that big and costly that they have nothing to lose either, by trying a different approach. If only by letting an independent outsider for starters scan the situation and make proposals for an approach. And collaborate closely towards solutions. Again, there is nothing to lose. Even less in the case of a free intake.
React for a joint consultation as regards the situation, via : info@indigoadvice.eu.
Maartje Rutten, The Hague, November 18th, 2019