Workplace Bullying : It will leave its mark on you!
What hits deepest is difficult to say : – never being heard, believed, let alone receiving help – never being accepted and even less respected – that whatever you try to improve the situation is to no avail, making it thus impossible for you to react – the complete powerlessness – the injustice – the contempt – …
The damage, the consequences of Workplace Bullying cannot be underestimated!
Obviously every case of Workplace Bullying is totally different and the consequences therefore as well. There are, however, some “common denominators”, clearly recognisable symptoms, such as : – (chronic) anxiety(ies) and concern – insomnia, nightmares, complete exhaustion, burn-out symptoms – depression – (chronic) insecurity, preventing you from standing up for yourself, from being yourself – erosion of self-esteem, self-confidence – extreme perfectionism, out of anxiety that the tiniest mistake might entail further bullying – frenzied desire to please and submission in order to convey that you mean well and to prevent conflicts – (chronic) anxiety for a next reproach/blow/aggression/… the blame, (pathological) feeling of guilt, even an innocent letter from your bank can make you wonder “oh boy, what have I done wrong this time?” –… and so forth.
In extreme cases, Workplace Bullying, the powerlessness, the injustice, the loss of confidence in fellow human beings and society may lead to self-hate and suicide(thoughts).
PTSD
Long-term (Workplace) Bullying may also cause a Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). To various degrees comprising the symptoms above as well as possible others such as flashbacks, permanent state of alertness, hypersensitivity and others.
Now what are the odds that the (internal) coach who, as the only one, has listened to you and supported you during years of bullying, turns out to be specialised in the treatment of PTSD, while you had never heard of it until the diagnose years later. Her knowledge and insight regarding PTSD is impressive and extremely helpful.
In one of her own blogs, she writes that PTSD is wrongfully still seen as a “normal reaction to an abnormal situation”. There is, however, nothing abnormal about Workplace Bullying. The whole world is falling apart from polarisation! Workplace Bullying is the most recent “common-or-garden-version” of this, but then at work. Insecurities and anxieties are vented on the person who is “different” in one way or the other. It has been known for years now, how critical the situation is in the Netherlands but action so far has not gone much deeper than “cosmetic adjustments” by creating new positions such as the “prevention officer”. Legally it remains very cumbersome to achieve anything regarding the actual bullying, managers are thus not held accountable, bullies go scot-free and remain in their positions. Business as usual. It is, unfortunately, the “normal” situation. PTSD thus constitutes a “normal reaction to a normal situation”. PTSD is the intense confrontation with evil and abnormal having become normal. This is what you have to learn to accept and what you have to learn to deal with!
It is actually the (work)environment that still needs to wake up to this. By brushing Workplace Bullying aside as ‘abnormal or an incidental case’ (thereby conveniently stigmatising the bullying victim as the troublemaker), one can delude oneself into thinking that the evil is not omnipresent and will not happen to them. If one million Dutch employees are being bullied at work, however, that means that it is the order of the day, everywhere, and thus can very well happen to anyone. By denying Workplace Bullying or depicting it as ‘abnormal’ or ‘incidental’, one can obviously not solve it. That is why it persists.
Best of all, as the coach says in the conclusion of her blog, is : when people with PTSD find the courage to give words to what they have seen!
In order for the wakeup call to be heard!
Well here you are!! (plus the thirteen preceding blogs 😉 )
Being fully aware, following your heart, your intuition. Conscious choices, every day, in all areas, in full and realistic understanding of how the world really is. But with this positive endnote that ever more people are working on this and their own personal process of awareness. Change will come.
Maartje Rutten, The Hague, September 16th, 2019