Ten days ago (19/04/19) a series called “Bullied from 9 to 5” started on Dutch television. Fantastic initiative!
One in eight Dutch employees is being bullied at work and it costs the Government an estimated €900 million a year.
Five victims of Workplace Bullying participated in this episode. One participating victim finally got the opportunity to explain the impact of her bullying experiences to the Director. Bullies and direct manager did not want to cooperate (!) For another victim internal mediation (definitely not external!) was arranged and if it failed she or her bully would be transferred.
Poor result!
It shows how little knowledge and insight there still is about Workplace Bullying and the complexity and the multilayeredness of the problems! And thus effective skills for coping with it!
As to the aspired conversation between victim and bully/ies, it should be known that that is pointless. Everything is denied or trivialised (“it wasn’t meant that way…”), which is even more painful for the victim. Pointing out, however brave that may be, how much pain their treatment has caused you, falls on deaf ears. A bully is insensitive to it, his contempt for you will only grow.
The same goes for mediation, internal or external. Basically a non-starter as well because of a lot of lying, often with so much aplomb that even the mediator believes it. The experience is appalling by the way, watching them, pretending to like you all of a sudden.
A transfer clearly is no solution either. In this way no one learns anything from what has happened. Not the victim, not the bully/ies, not the manager. And neither will the organisation learn from it. The same practice will continue.
The real problematic nature is still not recognised! Workplace Bullying goes way, way deeper and broader as well. That is what has to be scrutinised. What does it say about all involved? Where lies responsibility for the victim to analyse matters and learn from the position in which he or she ended up? What does it say about the bully/ies, why does he/she resort to it? Apparently knowing (unconsciously?) that he/she will get away with it in that particular work environment. What does it say about the organisation and the culture in which such behaviour is possible, tolerated?, encouraged?? What does it say about management? The management style? The way of working, cooperating? Etc!
It goes way deeper and broader than a seeming alignment of “perceptions” in the presence of a mediator.
If one in eight Dutchmen is being bullied at work, that means that basically every manager, to a greater or lesser extent, has to deal with it. He or she should be your first resort when you are being bullied. His/her way of acting will determine to a large extent the persistence or improvement of the situation and the atmosphere, which trickles down the organisation and decision-making. Should his/her responsibility (and the confidential contact person’s, the company medical officer’s, human resources’ and others for that matter, as well as possible external professionals involved such as lawyers and judges for instance, for a better picture of the real dynamics) not require effective knowledge and skills in this field? First and foremost to take every signal of bullying very seriously! And discover why and how it is possible that bullying takes place. Scrutinising the way of working/collaborating/managing, contact/communication, the system, the culture. But also how best to support the victim and how best to approach the bully/ies etc. And better call upon professional (external) help because the problems are extremely complex!
In this programme they only focussed on a few superficial instruments that, however well-meant, unfortunately, bring no structural, enduring improvements.
That means that tackling Workplace Bullying is still scarcely out of the egg! And that of mobbing thus probably even more so!
One participant was already proceeding for fourteen years against his (ex-)employer (!) The problem is not new!
A far greater effort is needed! And a far broader, deeper but, above all, safe approach!
Maartje Rutten, The Hague, April 29th, 2019