Workplace Bullying : is filing a complaint effective?
Not infrequently, it will cost one’s job!
Income, obviously and understandably, is almost always the most important consideration. Although it isn’t even guaranteed, judged from the position that you are in.
Is it worth your job?
What is the alternative?
Taking into account that you can basically rule out fruitfully raising the issue internally in order to arrive at safer working conditions. In one way or the other you are “different” and therefore you have to be expelled and thus you don’t have to count on help. Nine out of ten times the problem is denied anyway. Hence looking for a solution is excluded. “There surely is no problem”, according to the organisation/company.
Is there an alternative then? In the sense of a desired, voluntary choice.
Not really. Because the “alternative” “chosen” most frequently is, if you are honest, not an option that you would really want to opt for… That is to say tolerating this kind of abuse and violence because one simply has to earn one’s bread.
To subsequently observe yourself accepting humiliating and destructive treatment… By people who are actually capable of that kind of behaviour…(!) Plus the terrible anger. Also with yourself. For not standing up for yourself. This on top of the frustrated brooding over all that they have done to you and the unbearability of so much dishonesty and injustice. What is more, because you do not assert yourself, their power (abuse) over you gets even stronger.
A human being now is capable of suppressing anything that he or she does not want to know. So you can lead yourself to believe that you are taking a well-considered decision. That “you have to choose your battles”, “all alone, against such a big organisation, you can never win”, and all other excuses. Deep down, however, you know better of course.
The same holds true for leaving (‘walking away’!). In any case madness, as you are the victim and then you would have to leave? You are not solving anything for yourself by doing that. Rather it will happen again, elsewhere.
Then what brings standing up for yourself?
First of all a detaching yourself from the destructive influence of the aggressor. You behind the wheel again, so that you can focus on yourself.
A focus on yourself, in the course of which you have to be really honest with yourself. How did I end up in this situation? Where does it come from? What is my responsibility, what is my share in all of this? What does it say about my choices up till now? What does it say about the organisation/company I chose to work for and the people therein? You have got something to learn. The other side as well, clearly, but fortunately that is not your problem. And you best believe that the other side does not want to learn.
This inner reflection and looking whatever you come across straight into the eye, coming to terms with it and letting go, brings you closer to yourself (awareness). On top of the positive impact of standing up for yourself, it will also restore your assaulted self-confidence and self-respect, sense of self-esteem and power!
The proof of the pudding is in the eating. Clearly. But, from experience, I can only recommend it.
Despite the excessive violence that you will bring upon yourself. Despite that it may very well bring you no justice at all, yet cost you an arm and a leg. If you approach this seriously, there is so much to be gained, with you emerging stronger than ever.
Remember that the “alternative” is condoning to the whims of aggressors (or let yourself be routed). If that does not destroy you, it will embitter you from within. An employer with such practices on the work floor can never be worth that. Can it?
How is it possible that one million Dutch employees are being bullied at work and not also one million Dutch employees are speaking up and standing up? Where is our autonomy, our empowerment, our sense of responsibility?
Only if many, many more people stand up and file a complaint something might hopefully, finally change!!
Maartje Rutten, The Hague, February 1, 2019