Have you ever started a new job with all enthusiasm and interest in the world?
Where that turned out to be idiocy?
Where you are completely cast aside as of the very beginning. Where you’re treated with angry and dismissive looks. People pitted against you, behind your back. Who subsequently give you the cold shoulder as well or come and put you down or plainly bark at you. Where they approach managers with defamation and libel. Who believe that without further ado, because in some workplaces there are no two sides to a story and fact-finding therefore not necessary, at all!
That you do take up that kind of treatment with direct superiors. But that they do not know how to intervene effectively and nothing changes. That thus the incompetence of those managers is brought to light, which is, of course, your fault. Who then, out of resentment, join the mob. How terribly unsafe, dangerous, such an environment feels. When such a group gathers around you.
That every step you take leads to a next pitfall.
Any idea how that feels? Complete powerlessness? That practically everything happens behind your back. Of which you have no control whatsoever and thus cannot defend yourself against. And everything that you do to try and demonstrate that you have no bad intentions at all, falls on deaf ears. That everything is trivialised, played down as “your perception”. In other words : “made up”. Negation is the worst form of humiliation, repudiation and contempt!
The resulting self-doubt. The stress of the incomprehension. Not understanding what the cause is as nothing is expressed openly so that any discussion can be avoided. And no solution has to be sought. Because they don‘t want a solution! The stress of not knowing what else to do as nothing is ever good enough. Everything works out to your disadvantage and is used against you. This on top of the insomnia following the daily intimidation…
And no matter how often you ask for help, wherever. Brick walls everywhere. Nobody wants to listen, let alone help. No understanding, no compassion, no empathy. That one staff member after the other, whose job it officially should be to protect you, lets you down. No colleagues supporting you. Increasingly being isolated. And indeed ending up all alone…
The panic of not even standing one (!) chance if they are not willing!
Have you ever tried to maintain your self-confidence and self-esteem when, in this way, 25, 30 and in the end many more people, up to the highest level, point at you! You are being blamed! For everything! The so-called “right of the majority”, “the right of the highest function(s)”. The world turned upside down. The injustice. The lawlessness! The mental pain of so many lies and unfairness. The anxiety of never being believed. The humiliation of seeing and realising that they go so outrageously far in order to get rid of you. Collectively having the biggest fun and gloating over your situation and helplessness. Thereby also undermining your dignity.
Even feeling ““strong””…, with so many…, against one…
If the numbers are correct and there are over one million Dutch employees suffering from Workplace Bullying : I sympathise deeply with you!!
Maartje Rutten, The Hague, December 16, 2018
*Mobbing : (Wikipedia) : As a sociological term, means bullying of an individual by a group, in any context, such as a family, peer group, school, workplace, neighbourhood, community, or online. When it occurs as emotional abuse in the workplace, such as ‘ganging up’ by co-workers, subordinates or superiors, to force someone out of the workplace through rumour, innuendo, intimidation, humiliation, discrediting, and isolation, it is also referred to as malicious, nonsexual, nonracial / racial, general harassment.